Fruity Sexy Time
by TheJuicyDangler
Summary: Pineapples, mangoes, three sexy men and a german Oompa Loompa. Could you really ask for more?  xD Crack fic. Seriously.


A/N: Riiight, sleepovers are fun. Jade, Abby and Jordan in one room spells disaster. Hence the weird fic. Basically everything in this is stuff we've discussed today. We also got called lentils by randoms in the city... It was a good day. xD Anyway, have fun. :D

One day Mr Naruto Smellyface went to school to find a pickle in his pocket. This pickle smelt like cheese and mushrooms, but he ate it anyway. It tasted like pocket lint and left him dissatisfied and grumpy. He went to the supermarket to complain about his unsatisfying pickle.

The checkout chick simply told him to buy another pickle. Then he saw this really hot dude called Sasuke and was all like, "I want THAT pickle... in my pants". So he went up and started to make out with the boy who simply pulled off all their clothes and threw the young pickle-boy into an empty trolley and had his way with him until the store closed.

They then went back to Sasuke's apartment and had sex a few more times before eating pickles together as they ran into the setting sun, without messing up their hair.

A few weeks and lots of aspirin pills later, Naruto grew tired of his lover and his sore ass. He decided to break up with Sasuke, and got himself a nice lady-partner. Her name was Tsunade. After three weeks of dating and amaaaaazing sex, he found out that she was 64 years old. Oh dear. Oh well, she was hot, and she really knew how to work it.

After another three weeks, he broke up with her, and went back to Sasuke, as his butt had fully healed. Sasuke took him back instantly and making sure Naruto knew what kind of "connection" they had. Naruto enjoyed their sexy time and Sasuke was turning into a girl, well it's true. His hair was longer and he was putting on SOOOO much weight that he lost his modelling contract... And grew man cans.

Naruto's pineapples were starting to itch and bobbed over to Sasuke; "Sasuke touch the sexy, purple sponge...DO IT NOW!! (Stratco)"

Sasuke reached over to where the enticing, luscious sponge lay and touched it. Immediately after, his eyes turned bloodshot and his mommy ran over to him: "SASUKE... are you on drugs?" She said lifting up his fringe to look at his eyes. "Well I've just had some coke and ice... But, hey doesn't everybody? And, AND they go really well together."....

Just then, Tribute by Tenacious D came on and two people popped in front of Sasuke and started singing along, as his mum disappeared into the background. What had the beautiful, luscious, sexy, enticing, captivating, lively, massive, purple sponge done to him?

"Don't get me wrong, I love you, but does that mean I have to meet your father?".

"Naruto, my father's dead. You don't have to meet him".

"AWESOME! DATTEBAYO!"

SUDDENLY, the pickle made a comeback! It touched Naruto's pineapples, and they disappeared. Finally, those irritating pineapples were GONE! The pickle then inserted itself into Sasuke's nostril. All of Sasuke's fat, including his man cans, came flying out of his nose and was inserted into the pickle which then became a pineapple... the LORD of the pineapples!!!  
It then flew away happily.

"SASUKE YOU LOOK SEXXXXY!!"

"I was always sexxxy."

"LET'S DO IT, NOW! (Stratco)"

"SHOTGUN!!!"

"It's okay, I like your pickle up my butt."

And Naruto and Sasuke had hot buttsecks all the way into the night (520 times, to be precise). 

The next morning, after Sasuke woke up with some morning wood, he began to molest Naruto while he was sleeping. Naruto woke up to an AMAZIIING sight of Sasuke touching the purple sponge in an erotic manner whilst thrusting in and out of him.

So, that's why he was dreaming dirty things.

Once they both climaxed, they got out of bed and showered. They then rubbed mangoes on each others chests.

The lemon was dissatisfying and they decided to return to the store. While there, they saw a very hot piece of ass. His name was Sai. They took him home and put him in a big tub of ice and coke and drank the coke erotically. They then drained Sai of his manly fluids. Sasuke pounced Naruto, shoving Naruto's member into Sai, Sai's into Sasuke and Sasuke's into the purple sponge. Naruto yelled, "DO IT NOW! (Stratco)" They then all came at the same time into the purple sponge, which inflated and created a smiley face. With this new face came a new persona: Ed – the comfortable sponge!

Sai enjoyed the company of his two lovers. So much so that he never wanted to return to the pickle market again. LEMON. They did, however, run out of lube. When they went to buy more, they met an Oompa-spielen. Turns out that's a German Oompa Loompa. They had a nice chat with Herman the Oompa-spielen, and made plans for Saturday. He had no idea what they had in store for him.

On Saturday, Herman came to visit. The moment the door was opened, some music blared throughout the house.

"SCHNITZEL, THE FAVOURITE TREAT, FOR LITTLE GIRLS AND BOYS TO EAT!!!"

They then shoved Herman onto the bed, and shoved pineapples up his anus. The pineapples came out his ears in perfect halves. That was cooool.

They then kept Herman in the house as a pineapple cutter. HANDYY!

"Vergewaltigung mein ich habe ananas wo wo ein po wilkommen URINAL CAKE!", is what he would shout every time they sliced a pineapple.

Naruto, Sasuke and Sai then went to

THE END 


End file.
